some evenings I’m busy I sometimes I’m asleep so it passes on by the deep and utter grief I know God should take it away but maybe doesn’t want it to go away because that’s the sadness he feels I don’t know any answers I know that I’m having to manage my own body andContinue reading “every evening it always shows up”
Tag Archives: mental-health
what have I not done I have been asked quite recently
I haven’t gotten to jump out of a airplane like I wanted to I’ve never been in a bouncy house not that I care to or on a trampoline except for those little ones they had made up for you to lose weight on. I did not get to see my daughter grow up I’veContinue reading “what have I not done I have been asked quite recently”
These hands..
these hands have done a many a thing have protected me have built have hold and held in love to no end they’ve been nervous they’ve been intricate in knowledge they were everything to me and nothing at all at one point we take advantage of what we have we take advantage of all theseContinue reading “These hands..”
things I’ll never do
I believed as I was going to get older with my partner but mostly it was my plan it was my dream my dreams probably got me in trouble in the first place probably watching too much TV as they say. so my ideas were I believed or thought I could do cheese for buyingContinue reading “things I’ll never do”
what’s it like for CayC to be an artist.
I was born an artist. We all are I believe. life is an artist is a human and has been very difficult I was born differently abled. I have a chronic disease as you might know. Now for the first time I’m able to do art again just for a moment I reach my lookContinue reading “what’s it like for CayC to be an artist.”
trying to keep my insides in
I have to let people help me know. I’ve had strange people in faces touch me when I did not choose to be touched though I could not tell you that I choose not to be touched because I was trained. Just trying to keep my guts in right now try to get a fewContinue reading “trying to keep my insides in”
Understanding
I’ve been learning to be human all my life is a child. Now having lived for five decades learning about this incurable disease that was diagnosed when I was 9 years old and the family of origin that wasn’t such a family at all and the many times I’ve been raped in and out ofContinue reading “Understanding”
our righteous Lord
warm hot blood streaming down my left eye in the orbital down my cheek onto the ground I start to want to paint with it they say no no get back it back it’s bad it’s bad it’s my blood I’ll do with what I want I say this is I know all I knowContinue reading “our righteous Lord”
First day of March 2024 March 1st 20:24
I woke to my motel 6 room to find it raining last night or this morning it’s night time and that’s all I know and I try to figure out what time it is I try to move my hands and get my body out of this bed and try to remember what it needsContinue reading “First day of March 2024 March 1st 20:24”